'They canceled my two weeks off': HR approves employee's PTO for her mother's funeral, then cancels request, employee has an outburst

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Sep 12, 2023 8:00 AM EDT

Every human resources department has been known for some shady behavior to protect the interests of the company rather than the interests of the actual humans who work there. Ironic, much? 

 

We all have these kinds of stories, particularly ones that involve employee benefits like paid time off. It's a tale as old as time: an employee requests vacation time for an important event like a wedding or a funeral, their boss approves said vacation time, then shames them in some way as the dates actually approach. It's always somehow the employee's fault that management didn't prepare for their absence, even if the employee did plenty of work on their end to prepare for their time off. We all recognize this situation all too well.

 

However, this Redditor's request was not fully approved before it was mysteriously canceled in the system. On top of that, it wasn't exactly a beach vacation she was hoping for; she was taking time off to plan and attend her own mother's funeral. Any decent HR professional or boss would do everything in their power to make it work for their employee no matter what, especially during such a sensitive time. But just as we said already, Human Resources is not actually about human resources. If it were, employees would always be protected in situations like this. 

 

Keep scrolling below for the full story and for the best reactions in the comments section, and feel free to share your HR horror stories as well. When you're finished, check out this post about how an employee used HR to get their boss demoted.

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  • 01
    Sleeve - "If you take off unapproved time then we'll have to let you go"
    via Tim Gouw
  • 02
    Font - I might get fired because I pushed back on my management canceling my time off for my mother's funeral The week after I got the news that my mom died, I put in a request for paid two weeks off to my manager. She approved it through the program we use to put in time off requests. I knew that I needed this time to go out of town, so all of my funeral plans are based on these two weeks, and I made that very clear to my manager in the email I sent her. This was about a month ago.
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 03
    Font - She called me into her office yesterday during my shift to tell me that they "cancelled" my two weeks off because they're understaffed. I was absolutely shocked. The first thing I asked her was why she didn't tell me this news sooner. I sat there explaining to her that I needed, NEEDED! these two weeks for my family. She gave me the whole manager bulls tone with the "I understand that, but we need you to understand this too." I got extremely angry sitting there listening to her go on and
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 04
    Font - I snapped at her and said "isn't your job organizing these things so that your employees can take time off for important things" She continued with her corporate tone bull, so I just told her that I'm done talking, and that I'm leaving for this funeral whether they find someone to fill in or not. She said "that's all good and well, but if you take off unapproved time then we'll have to let you go" so I just said that's fine and walked out of her office. It was approved and when I checked
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 05
    Font - Raging Progressive 3 days ago Let her fire you, then collect unemployment 7.9k Reply Share
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 06
    Font - lydriseabove 3 days ago OP needs to send a very clear email stating that they are NOT leaving the job, are leaving for some previously approved PTO time, and will be returning on X date. Send it to as many people as possible and even set up an out of office email referring to PTO. 5.5k Reply Share
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 07
    Rectangle - Mermaidtoo 3 days ago 2 & 8 More Absolutely. OP only knows what their manager has told them. It may be that the manager messed up or doesn't want to be inconvenienced. OP - be completely factual and professional in all communications.
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 08
    Font - Send something like this and cc everyone in management and HR you can: Boss - I'm following up on our conversation from (date) when you informed me that you cancelled my time off that had been approved on (date).
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 09
    Font - As I'd shared at the time of my original request on (date) and brought up again during our recent conversation, this time off is due to a family bereavement. I will be attending services for my mother from (date to date). It was on (date) that you approved this time off. In the month since your approval, I've set the date for the services, coordinated with family members, and made traveling plans. None of this can be rescheduled.
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 10
    Font - During our recent conversation, you informed me that my time off is now cancelled due to issues with other staff and the status no longer shows as approved in the system. Due to this exceptional situation, I am not able to comply with any scheduling change other than what was previously approved. I hope that you can understand and manage accordingly. To reiterate, I will be taking my previously- approved leave from (date to date). My first day back to work will be (date). 4.6k Reply Share
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 11
    Font - cooldart61 3 days ago I had a coworker ask for 2 days off for her dad's funeral and our boss denied the leave due to staffing shortage We went around her and covered her shifts for entire week (despite the supposed "shortage") She quit right after and we fully supported her. The rest of us quit soon after Reply Share 7.5k
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 12
    Font - King Hamburgler. 3 days ago Imagine being such a loser that someone you work with is like "my dad died I have a funeral to go to for TWO DAYS" And you're like "ugh losing a parent is awful, know what's worse? When lines are slightly longer than normal at the bank we work at" 2.4k Reply Share
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 13
    Font - ThatCranberry5296. 3 days ago Staffing issues are sure to get better by letting people go. 4.8k Reply Share
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 14
    Font - goodie23 3 days ago The short- sightedness of some businesses is amazing - "We're short-staffed, let's bully a loyal employee. Wait, why are we even more short?" 2.2k Reply Share
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 15
    Font - K1nsey6 3 days ago Their staffing issues is a them problem, not a you problem ↑ 1.7k Reply Share
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 16
    Font - vanluvsyou OP. 3 days ago Yes and she made it seem like it was my issue, I'm a grown woman and she sat me down in there and talked to me like I was in trouble or something 1.2k Reply Share
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 17
    Font - Hekinsieden 3 days ago Just imagine how many people have rolled over and said "ok." and just accepted this after she on them. put this 541 Reply Share
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 18
    Font - oo-mox83 3 days ago So they're understaffed... And can't handle you being gone two weeks... But they're okay with losing you entirely rather than finding a solution. Okayyyyyy. Such stupid logic. If they fire you for this, get unemployment. And tell them how stupid they are. 362 Reply Share
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 19
    Font - Unlikely_City_3560. 3 days ago The second they approve your leave, take pictures or screenshots for your records. I had a manager try that bull on me. They "lost" my time off sheet and told me I would have to work my anniversary, I sent them in an email with their boss ccd a picture of my time off request that they signed. Got my time off. 309 Reply Share
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 20
    Font - Eyouser 3 days ago I would send her boss and email and copy HR. Say what happened. Give the evidence you can. Print the email out and keep it. 132 Reply Share
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 21
    Font - Ambystomatigrinum. 3 days ago Call their bluff. Are they really going to fire you when they're already understaffed? Seems pretty unlikely. 106 Reply Share
    via u/vanluvsyou
  • 22
    Font - Lord Jac 3 days ago Ask them if they love their job more than their mother. Ask them if they would ghost their own mother's funeral to make their boss happy. employers want to pretend that they're like family, make them admit that they would abandon family at the drop of a hat. They need be forced to acknowledge the true heartlessness of what they are doing and how it reflects on them and their priorities. 107 Reply Share
    via u/vanluvsyou

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boss workplace-stories toxic-manager employee work stories toxic-workplace work toxic-boss human resources Horrible Bosses family reddit thread Reddit toxic-work-environment
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